Would you?


So I’ve been pondering.

For example, if someone would interfere with a relationship on purpose with the thoughts of it being in favor of someone else?

I will have to say yes.  It’s been seen in some of the shows I watch.  Someone always tricks one person and gets them to leave the other one alone in hope that the other person will come to them.  That’s the nice scenario which doesn’t end deadly.  Sometimes it involves harming the other person so they will go away.  Sometimes there’s interference from someone outside of the group, trying to “help” someone get the outcome they want.

Funny I think that’s what happened to me (problems with my phone and such).  Sad too that it happened.  I think he really liked me.   Too bad with the interference.

Would you put pictures up of someone who didn’t realize you took those pictures?

I’m quite aware that I don’t do a lot of things other people do.  The thing is there’s always a reason.  Unless you’ve lived my life, then you wouldn’t know why.

Would you do something you would never do just to fit in?

Would you turn your back on your friend, just to fit in?

Would you completely lose yourself just to fit in?

Would you do anything for love?

Would you want to be friends with someone who always does something vindictive or unkind to someone else?

Would you speak up if you know someone is doing something wrong?

What would you do if you saw a ghost?

Why would you think someone would ever stop doing something they enjoy?

Yes random questions.  Peace out.

Can I have a fucking moment?


Sometimes I feel like I can’t have a fucking moment.  I can’t have an emotional moment without someone hearing me or saying something about it.  I can’t have one fucking moment.

If I do, then all of a sudden I have people who normally don’t call or talk to me asking me personal questions.  Like I’m going to tell someone who’s not in my confidence what’s the matter with me.

The worse thing is I usually have these moments at home.  Which brings me to believe that someone hears me and tells someone who seems to know who I am.  Someone who possible works with me.  I know my neighbors never say anything directly to me.

Funny though.  They’ve called me crazy before, so I’m pretty sure it has something to do with when they eavesdrop.  Probably when I’m having a moment.

Funny too.  Someone seems to be concerned when I don’t respond to text messages.  Funny they can read them, would they respond back to the mean and hateful ones?  It doesn’t matter who it is, if someone is being an ass with me I don’t have to respond now do I?

So yeah I have my moments.  I could be angry, I could be sad, I could be extremely happy.  Still don’t fucking make fun of me, run and tell everyone, or act like I’m crazy.  Don’t you know the proper reaction to someone who is having a moment?

So yeah.  Let me have my fucking moment.  Let me get things out.  If you’re just going to make fun of me, look at me like I’m crazy, or spread it around, then leave me the fuck alone.  I don’t need that, and it just makes you look like an uncaring individual.

We all need moments.  I let people have their moments.  Sometimes they don’t want to be bothered at that time, so I leave them alone and then they’ll come and find me or talk to me when they are ready.  That’s how it is.  Sometimes they want you there to comfort them, during this time.  So I’m there.

So yeah people need to have their moments.

A little task


“She lost her job.”

“What’s she going to do about her daughter?”

“Phhhsssttt…I don’t know…”  whisper, “as if I care.”

“Are you still working on that secret project?”

“It’s not a secret if you know.”

“We all know because you constantly call us to your desk to show us.  It’s so funny to read someones life isn’t it?  To read what’s going on in their life.  Where they are going for a date.  Who they are arguing with.  Who they are fucking.”

“Do you think she knows.”

Thought, “As if I care.”

“Hey do you think we could get someone to move in and keep tabs on her?”

“Your friend who just lost her job would be perfect.  I’m sure they’ll pay her.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that’s not a credit card?”

“I just reached in her purse and got it.”

“Whose purse is it?”

“I’m sure they’d do it.  All I have to do is butter them up.”

“Are you sure they’ll leave her alone and not go in.”

“She wasn’t supposed to go in there.”

“I told them just to take the electronics and to leave the computer alone.”

“Well it was just sitting there.”


“That family believed what you told them.  That’s why they did it.”

“The police was looking for them, didn’t you know and she hid them.”

“She fucking hid criminals.”

“So if your friends are criminals and you helped criminals do a crime, does that make you a criminal too or just an accessory?”

“I forgot to put that back on the door.”

“How many times have you been going back in there?”

“She’s back in the back room.  She’s stays out of the living room now.”

“We told them to watch it…We had them watching it and reading it.”

“That’s her.”

“What about the police?”

“What about the banker?  The banker got wise to us.”

“You told them that was you on her account didn’t you?  You fucking impersonated the other person.”

“The task is simple.  You move in and you listen, you watch, and you read.  That’s all.  You can try to be friends, but I doubt she’ll get too close to you.  She’s not like you.”

“She doesn’t talk to me.”

“She doesn’t talk to anyone, not just you.”

“Why are you complaining to them?  There’s something wrong with those people.”

“Just a little task.  Just watch, listen, and read.  Don’t move them either.”

“You moved them right in her face.”

“Once they opened it, the investigator saw someone elses face.  Must be the ones who took it.”

“They weren’t supposed to be here in the first place.”

“I told you they were criminals.”

“You programmed that didn’t you.”

“You showed them everything what the hell!”

“It was supposed to be a simple task.”

“You were just supposed to watch her, to listen to her, to read everything, not move them, and to make sure she was ok.”

“I wanted to be there so I could see her face when she went in.  I didn’t think she’d call the cops.  You think she’ll come up for drinks?”

“After what you did?  Really? Are you fucking crazy?”

“Just a normal living room, and all of a sudden daylight pours in.”

“All for $50.”

“Is that why you did it?”

“It was just a little fucking task!  You can’t fucking do one little FUCKING task!”



I guess I shouldn’t have drunk all of that caffeine today.  I can’t even spell.

Any way.  Trust.

So yeah I want to trust some people, but unfortunately there are very few people I will trust with something.  Which makes me seem like the bad guy to everyone else because I don’t readily share everything.  In reality you don’t need to share everything with everyone.

I can’t remember what passage in the bible, or what chapter because I’m sure I wrote it down, but of course I don’t have it in front of me.  Yet it was a story about a rich man who was stranded in the wilderness or the desert with his servants.  Of course the servants did not know his business or his life.  They never watched him bathe or sleep, the same for him as we all know the servants quarters would have been separate from his.  Since they are out fighting the elements together they saw each other in their most vulnerable state.  So he had to put his trust in them and they in him and they had to promise not tell anyone what had happen.  I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have because they would have been more afraid of him having them killed.  He had to learn to trust them and they had to learn to trust him.

To me trust is not given right away.  I think it took me having to learn that from some people.  Which makes it even more important to put people in categories.

Side note.  I think my neighbors or whomever have gotten better at being quiet about eavesdropping on my conversations and whatever else they do.  Still not sure why they would care who I’m talking to on the phone, or how much money is in my bank account, or where I went this morning.  I’m not sure.  I hope I was just imagining things, but I don’t think so.  People seem to get excited when they are listening for things.  I instantly think of the break in, so yeah makes me think it’s to steal and know my schedule.  Plus I seriously think I’m boring, so to even bother doing something like that in the first place makes me wonder what kind of lies they were told.  Perhaps it’s stereotyping me.  Kind of weird because it scares me and makes me feel like I’m being stalked.  I really do think they know one of my co-workers, but they failed to tell them why they don’t see me in that building.


Yet I find it strange that people will trust what people say no matter how outrageous it is.  They trust a lie instead of the truth.  A lie can be like a weed in an orchard.  It’ll slowly creep up the grapevine and wrap itself around it till it eventually takes over going from one vine to the next till everything is lost.  Once that happens there’s not much you can do now is there?

Learning who can become part of your confidence is hard.

I know people have told me some things.  It’s something, I still remember things I’ve been told and I’ve never told anyone.  Yet when I confide in some people it goes all over like the news about a hurricane or a tsunami on all day for weeks.

Hey!  Are you looking for me?  Can’t find me?  Where am I now?  Am I behind you?  Did you take my stuff because you thought I would fucking leave my place more?  Didn’t you notice I was gone a lot?  Of course you had to notice, right?

Did you harm them?  Did you poison them?   Did you kill them?

Sorry, was thinking about when my stuff was stolen.  I wonder if they thought it would make me leave my house more.  Funny I wasn’t home hardly  during that time.  Sometimes I was only able to sleep for a few hours.  So that would have been a stupid reason to take my stuff.   Funny though someone said they were going to replace the stuff that was stolen.  Still don’t see it back now do I?

Oh man.

Any way it’s hard to trust people.  I like to only keep those few I do trust close to me.

Chaos is caused by entrusting someone with something they don’t deserve.  Especially something that is important.

I remember this song back in the day.  A church song to be exact.  It was about someone who had a problem told someone and they told two friends and they told two friends, etc.  So basically it became rumor ville.  The sad thing is that song is true.

Tell one person something important that you don’t want anyone else to know.  They will run and tell someone else, who runs and tells someone else, who runs and tells someone else, etc.  It’s like that diagram we use for playoffs where you start off with 60 teams and whittles down to 1.  Take team one and they tell team two.  Team two tells 10 more teams and each of those teams tell 10 more teams.  Before long ever team in every continent knows.  I’m exaggerating, but think of it that way,  That’s a lot of people knowing your secret right?

It’s like that feather pillow analogy.  Climb up a building and cut open a down feather pillow. The feathers can blow all over the world.  If you tried to get all of those feathers back you might be traveling the world till you die.  It’s the same with what people say about you.  You can’ t go to everyone person trying to change their mind about you.  You can’t stop people from talking, unfortunately that’s what humans do.  The best thing to do is take care of yourself and your family, keep your head held high and those who want to know you will ignore the bullshit and come and find out who you are for themselves.

I guess trust makes me think about what you share with someone and what they tell someone else, is completely different. Might cause rumors.  Might cause people to treat you differently from the way they treated you before.  Causes a lot of damage.

What kind of lawyers


Bob listened.  It looks like they brought their legal team up today.  Not only did they bring the HR department up, they brought their legal team.

This was all due to Michelle’s prying.  Not only had they asked his former employer for his file, they shared the contents with their employees.  He still does not understand why they did that.  He assumed it was because he was a nurse and black.  What if he had been white like Michelle?  What about Asian, or Mexican?

Still the worse was listening to them going through his sister’s file.  The lawyers had told Michelle they could have had his sister’s kids taken away.  She and they were calling places.  He knew that file was not to be accessed.  He couldn’t even get a hold of the file.  How the hell did they get a hold of the file?  Did they fucking lie to get it?  What his family did was none of their business, it should have been all about him.  Of all the things his sister had done, this time it wasn’t her fault.  They had no idea why that happened to his sister.  They didn’t know the whole fucking truth.  How dare they call her a prostitute?  Was it because she was black and the only reason why a black woman would be where she was, was because she was a prostitute?  What about not paying speeding tickets, or parking violations?   Still they got access to the kids files.  How the hell did they get access to that?  They had the nerve to call him a fucking monster?  Really?  Who the fuck shares confidential files with their employees?  Apparently these monsters do.

He fucking would never have known if the skinny, snobby, stuck up, and over-confident legal team member had never pointed him out.  “Is that him?”  he asked as he walked by the group.  Even the foreigners pointed him out glad that he didn’t belong to their race.  He could see it on their faces when he walked by.

He was being followed.  When he took his break he was followed.  One day he was drinking a lot of water and Michelle kept wondering why he was going to the bathroom a lot.  He had to fucking pee.  So then he started noticing he was being watched going to the bathroom.  One of them tried to poison his coffee.  Good thing he poured it out.  It was probably fucking Ivan.  He had no fear.  It was between him and Joaquin.  Yet Vincent he would be the sneaky one.  He probably found a way to get into his apartment.  He seemed to be a bit proud of himself one day.  They even were talking about the pictures of his refrigerator.  What fucking monsters…

What kind of legal team did they have?  Apparently their team completely sold their soul to the devil.  The evil that seeped from these people.

Even when HR showed them his file and told them it was only a career change and it was none of their business for them doing this, they didn’t stop.  The only reason HR knew was because they tried to transfer him.  They were embarrassed apparently because they had no business doing another background check on him and investigating him, so their solution was to transfer him.  This triggered more meetings because he wasn’t their employee, you can’t transfer a temporary employee without consulting their temp agency.  People asking if it was safe for him to be there, like he had AIDS or he was a disease.  They of course started firing people because of what they did, but did they stop?  No.  They even asked his previous employer if they had proof of what they put in his personnel file.  He even found out they thought his damn locker had medications in it, and was surprised it didn’t.  What fucking liars those nurses were.  Why would he put his job in jeopardy for medications.  He could be like most of the people he knew and be addicted to illegal and legal drugs, but he wasn’t.  He sure would have a problem right now because he would be sneaking back to the hospital trying to get medicine or begging someone to steal some for him wouldn’t he?  Yet he wasn’t.  They had to tell the employees the real truth.  Still he knew that because of all the things they had shared with their employees, it would continue.

They had opened the can of worms, let a few out and instead of closing it, let them all crawl out.  It wasn’t going to stop, and they weren’t going to stop.  They would continue to sit there and treat him like he wasn’t a person and tell anyone new about him.  He would have to sit and endure this all because they were embarrassed.  Instead of stopping they continued.  It was like watching the Klan intent on lynching him, with twisted and determined faces.  Nothing would stop them, not even the one poor lawyer who tried.

He knew they had called his former employers.  The would be pissed off because some of them gave them a number to call for his personnel file.  Some they emailed, while others they called.  They were pissed off because they only had nice things to say.  They even called his pharmacies.  He knew that they would find out that his family members were attached to his name in the pharmacies.  They would probably ask for all of their medications.  Fucking monsters.

Whats worse is how easily they said it would be to tap his phone.  Oh he has his phone through the cable company that’s easy.  So easy for them to work with his cell phone provider.  How easy it would be.  He wondered if they realized that they really don’t have probable cause.  Yet he was sure they would fucking do it.

He knew they knew what he was singing when he would sing into his phone.  He would intentionally place his phone to his mouth and sing and wait for their comments.  “Oh he’s giving us a concert.”  So if they could listen to that then, what else where they listening to?  So he would take his phone apart so when he had an important conversation, then they wouldn’t hear him.

He was also sure that they got a hold of his bank account.  He would hear them giggle about something.  His bank has been his bank for years.  Would they be that insane?

He wondered what form of evil would they do.  Would they trick his family members, into giving them information?  Would they lie to them?  Would they pretend to be the FBI and get information from them?  He put nothing past them.  They were way past reason and logic.  They would do anything to get what they wanted, even if it was illegal or taking advantage of someone.

Still the worse was wondering if it would follow him for the rest of his life.  Would it follow him to his future place of employment?  Would it follow him to his church?  He knew they knew where he went to church one of the girls who worked there knew.  He also knew one of the girls who worked they were of the same religion as he.  Yet she apparently didn’t believe in “He who is without sin cast the first stone,” or the phrase innocent until proven guilty.  So he really didn’t trust her or anyone else.

He was sure one person might stand up for him.  Jessica.  She seemed smart.  Still he knew they must have threatened them with firing them, if they said one world to Mario or even spoke about it.  So if she did, she would have gotten fired.

Just waiting to be lynched by this lynch mob.

Boundaries…yeah that’s right


Once again the disclaimer is because I know of one specific person who would be a co-worker who would find this in a suspicious manner and share it with everyone I work with.  Mostly because she/they/he  enjoy making fun of me.  The issue is not finding it accidentally, it would be purposeful, and done in a hateful and mean manner.  Hence the reason why I do not share things with some people.  If you don’t understand how much I value something I share with you and only you, then you don’t deserve to be a part of my circle.  I value my privacy.  I value things I consider mine.  I also value that you ask me first before you give someone something of mine such as my phone number.  I also value that if I confide something to someone, they in turn would not run and tell the whole fucking place.  So basically that also shows that I can not trust some people because of that.

Gossiping….that’s what that is.

Also, I should have the right to share what I want with someone myself.  If I don’t want to share something with you, you can’t take offense.  People don’t share everything with me and that’s fine, why because that’s their right.  Do I take offense?  No.

Boundaries are needed.  Mot people don’t like boundaries.  Why because you can’t access what you want, so people devise ways of by passing the boundaries.

It’s just like I’ve been told by guys I have too many rules. They are not rules, they are boundaries.  There’s a difference.

Like for example how I like to keep my personal and private life separate from my work life.  That’s a boundary.  Now like I’ve said before there are some of my co-workers who know a bit more about me, but not everything.  Then there are others who instead of talking to me they ask someone else, who doesn’t know a thing about me.  The only way they would know anything about me, would be if they were doing something illegal.  Also like dating someone at work, if they can keep it between me and them, then that’s completely different.  Unfortunately I don’t think that would happen because of course it would involve me wouldn’t it?  Anything I do everyone knows.

Speaking of something illegal.  I wonder if people ever think if I put a listening device or a camera in someone’s home to watch them, as illegal.  I mean I’m sure hotels might do it.  Maybe even apartment complexes.  Remember those news stories about cameras in bathrooms and the guy got arrested for that because it’s a form of voyeurism.  I wonder if doing that to someone and posting it somewhere ever weighs on their consciousness.

Still it’s probably a form of stalking.

Any way, so I know people hate boundaries.  That’s because it keeps them from doing whatever they want to do.  Boundaries are good, not bad.

Usually people who are used to someone being a certain way with them and then once they start putting up boundaries and saying no, it really messes up that relationship.  If the person was taken advantage of, or always there when they were needed, or sacrificed what they wanted to do for that person, and now they are doing things they wanted it’s a completely different situation and it can cause relationships to suffer.  Still it should be for the greater good.

I don’t think most people use boundaries.

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