DISCLAIMER I HAVE NOT SHARED THIS BLOG WITH MY FORMER OR CURRENT COWORKERS OR ANY OF MY FORMER OR CURRENT NEIGHBORS
I guess I shouldn’t have drunk all of that caffeine today. I can’t even spell.
Any way. Trust.
So yeah I want to trust some people, but unfortunately there are very few people I will trust with something. Which makes me seem like the bad guy to everyone else because I don’t readily share everything. In reality you don’t need to share everything with everyone.
I can’t remember what passage in the bible, or what chapter because I’m sure I wrote it down, but of course I don’t have it in front of me. Yet it was a story about a rich man who was stranded in the wilderness or the desert with his servants. Of course the servants did not know his business or his life. They never watched him bathe or sleep, the same for him as we all know the servants quarters would have been separate from his. Since they are out fighting the elements together they saw each other in their most vulnerable state. So he had to put his trust in them and they in him and they had to promise not tell anyone what had happen. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have because they would have been more afraid of him having them killed. He had to learn to trust them and they had to learn to trust him.
To me trust is not given right away. I think it took me having to learn that from some people. Which makes it even more important to put people in categories.
Side note. I think my neighbors or whomever have gotten better at being quiet about eavesdropping on my conversations and whatever else they do. Still not sure why they would care who I’m talking to on the phone, or how much money is in my bank account, or where I went this morning. I’m not sure. I hope I was just imagining things, but I don’t think so. People seem to get excited when they are listening for things. I instantly think of the break in, so yeah makes me think it’s to steal and know my schedule. Plus I seriously think I’m boring, so to even bother doing something like that in the first place makes me wonder what kind of lies they were told. Perhaps it’s stereotyping me. Kind of weird because it scares me and makes me feel like I’m being stalked. I really do think they know one of my co-workers, but they failed to tell them why they don’t see me in that building.
Yet I find it strange that people will trust what people say no matter how outrageous it is. They trust a lie instead of the truth. A lie can be like a weed in an orchard. It’ll slowly creep up the grapevine and wrap itself around it till it eventually takes over going from one vine to the next till everything is lost. Once that happens there’s not much you can do now is there?
Learning who can become part of your confidence is hard.
I know people have told me some things. It’s something, I still remember things I’ve been told and I’ve never told anyone. Yet when I confide in some people it goes all over like the news about a hurricane or a tsunami on all day for weeks.
Hey! Are you looking for me? Can’t find me? Where am I now? Am I behind you? Did you take my stuff because you thought I would fucking leave my place more? Didn’t you notice I was gone a lot? Of course you had to notice, right?
Did you harm them? Did you poison them? Did you kill them?
Sorry, was thinking about when my stuff was stolen. I wonder if they thought it would make me leave my house more. Funny I wasn’t home hardly during that time. Sometimes I was only able to sleep for a few hours. So that would have been a stupid reason to take my stuff. Funny though someone said they were going to replace the stuff that was stolen. Still don’t see it back now do I?
Any way it’s hard to trust people. I like to only keep those few I do trust close to me.
Chaos is caused by entrusting someone with something they don’t deserve. Especially something that is important.
I remember this song back in the day. A church song to be exact. It was about someone who had a problem told someone and they told two friends and they told two friends, etc. So basically it became rumor ville. The sad thing is that song is true.
Tell one person something important that you don’t want anyone else to know. They will run and tell someone else, who runs and tells someone else, who runs and tells someone else, etc. It’s like that diagram we use for playoffs where you start off with 60 teams and whittles down to 1. Take team one and they tell team two. Team two tells 10 more teams and each of those teams tell 10 more teams. Before long ever team in every continent knows. I’m exaggerating, but think of it that way, That’s a lot of people knowing your secret right?
It’s like that feather pillow analogy. Climb up a building and cut open a down feather pillow. The feathers can blow all over the world. If you tried to get all of those feathers back you might be traveling the world till you die. It’s the same with what people say about you. You can’ t go to everyone person trying to change their mind about you. You can’t stop people from talking, unfortunately that’s what humans do. The best thing to do is take care of yourself and your family, keep your head held high and those who want to know you will ignore the bullshit and come and find out who you are for themselves.
I guess trust makes me think about what you share with someone and what they tell someone else, is completely different. Might cause rumors. Might cause people to treat you differently from the way they treated you before. Causes a lot of damage.